Blood Comes From Within

Posted: November 11, 2017 in Uncategorized

A little sweaty right now, a little dread-filled right now. I used to be a big poker player, and I’m not really as much anymore. It has a lot to do with time commitments, money commitments, and how much you spend of one to end up behind in the other.

I’m not a good poker player, is what I’m trying to say here.

But twice a year, minimum, I partake in what used to be a bi-weekly tradition of sitting down at the table and playing poker with former co-workers, friends, and roommates. On this particular night in question, we play in honor of my deceased friend Jesse, and we, in what can only be described as the infinite wisdom of men in their 20s, decided to toast this game every year by consuming Jesse’s favorite poker drink – Crown Royal whiskey.

Now years ago, when this tradition started and we remembered our friend with vigor and zeal, these games ended with laughing, drunken shouting, and a lot of vomit, hangovers, and worse the next day. There has been on more than one occasion, a Sunday after this game where I spend all day in bed on my side, trying to breathe without moving, watching football very quietly and picking at a Subway sandwich the way David Hasselhoff picked at his Wendy’s.

Now that we’re older (maybe not wiser) we’ve toned down the drinking considerably but we do all kind of groan when this day comes. It’s like a dentist visit, or a prostate exam. None of us want to do this. It’s just generally considered a good idea. We drink less often, we drink less by volume, but this is probably my big drinking day of the year. And I’ll probably be twenty dollars poorer by the end of it. Cheers, Jesse.

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Do Better

Posted: November 7, 2017 in Uncategorized

There’s been a city truck idling outside my window for the past hour or so. It’s not normally a problem except this is perfect windows-open weather and I’m enjoying the cool breezes and whatnot. So all I hear is the low rumbling and occasional piercing squeak of a piece of civic-funded something-or-other. I’m not entirely sure what it is they’re working on; I only had enough energy and curiosity to crack open the front door and spy the city’s logo on the driver’s side door and notice the blinking lights and what not. I doubt it’s power lines because…well, here I am blogging. Could be road repairs but I haven’t seen any rough spots on our street. Water’s still up and running too. No idea what they’re doing besides making very loud industrial noises and ruining my peaceful November afternoon. I’m sure it’s productive though, if only it were relevant.

Waiting for Takeoff

Posted: November 6, 2017 in Uncategorized

Was being productive and getting stuff done last night when I was hit with the urge to go to bed: I felt tired, I felt I had done enough, sleep seemed the best course of action. So I turned everything off, saved, all that good stuff. Went and got a shower, still feeling great. Go to lie down and them BAM — Oh don’t forget you also need to do V, W, X, Y, Z this week and you’ve only got enough time for A through H. So how am I going to find the time to get all of it done? Well I woke up an hour earlier than I needed to today and that was particularly helpful in helping me get ahead of things, and I’ll have a little time this week to work on other things, but there is definitely a time crunch going on.  I’ll figure it out, I just hope I can get enough done today to not lose sleep over it tonight.

Chicken for Breakfast

Posted: October 29, 2017 in Uncategorized

I’ve got leftover chicken, and I’m going to eat it for breakfast. I’m excited about this because I love to eat chicken, and so it is a good day when I can start it by eating chicken. Chicken is my favorite meat to eat because it tastes good in soups and on sandwiches or by itself. I used to only like it grilled but recently I’ve learned to love fried chicken. Fried chicken is the kind of chicken I have today. I don’t like chicken wings or spicy chicken very much though. Also when you get chicken it usually comes with good sides like mashed potatoes or french fries or even macaroni and cheese sometimes. I don’t like macaroni a whole lot but sometimes I will eat it with a chicken dinner or when my girlfriend makes it. A day where I eat chicken is a good day.

–Written by Michael, Age 32

Pumpkin Colada

Posted: October 23, 2017 in Uncategorized

I had this bizarre dream last night, or a few minutes ago, or whatever. I was out in the boonies with old friends, bussing around and explaining in the rain why I’ve done the things I’ve done when I stumbled across sad celebrities that I did my best to cheer up. Then I was visiting a school fundraiser which was a cross between a scavenger hunt and a raffle. I found the keys to all the prizes and then informed the principal because I felt that was not the intended way to get the prizes. As I was explaining what happened, a disgruntled volunteer parent stole the grand prize very smoothly and I went to chase after her to stop her, but she ranted at me and walked out. Then IT slammed my head through a wall and a secretary started quizzing me about cartoons. It was fun, but I’ll be damned if I know why I dreamed it.

Headache Day

Posted: October 22, 2017 in Uncategorized

Slept funny last night, have a stiff neck now. But it’s okay. Having a pretty chill day otherwise. Which is kind of what I needed. For some reason or another I’ve been…grumpy, cranky, persnickety, you name it. Not all the time, but just set off at the most minor of inconveniences. It hasn’t been a good look. And I keep wanting to fix it, but…no such luck yet. I think part of it may be that I’ve just removed caffeine from my diet again, albeit temporarily (probably). So that’s my crutch excuse for it, but I don’t like to depend on those kinds of things, so I think the closer reality is just that I’ve been a little…off, emotionally, mentally, what have you. Need something good to come my way. And I think my attitude might be blocking me from getting it. So one way or another, I need an attitude adjustment.

Now the question is: How to go about that? I don’t really know a reliable way of doing so without getting into some kind of meta-new age kind of thing, and that’s not really my jam. I could meditate. I have at least one self-help book to read through. These things take time and either I don’t know how to use them or they don’t work for me. What I really need to do is stop taking things personally. I need to let things roll off my back more easily and I find that harder and harder to do the more I see people around me being, well, stupid. And that’s kind of the mentality I had as a teenager which tells me that either I’m regressing or everyone is. I don’t still think I’m this lone bastion of sanity in an ocean of ineptitude.

So the attitude that I’m considering is maybe a kind of social bonsai. To scale back my interactions a bit, take a couple weeks to be more introverted, not expose myself to certain behaviors or ways of thinking for a bit. And I know, social media and blogging culture has trained you at this point to say “Oh, is this about me?” No. Probably not. Maybe. But probably not. I don’t know who reads this every day, or ever. Because I have patience for the bigger things, but none for trivial matters. And I think that the patience in the latter is being decreased BECAUSE of my patience being taxed in the former, but that’s all conjecture. That’s me trying to say the problem doesn’t lie with me when in reality it requires me to do some introspection, improve myself, refresh and go back into the world. So if you don’t hear from me as often in one way or another, just know that I’m working, and hopefully I’ll be back.

Small Challenge

Posted: October 16, 2017 in Uncategorized

Giving up soda again. Temporarily at least. I know it’s not good for me, and I know that I don’t need the caffeine unless I get my body used to it. And I could probably lose a solid five pounds just by not drinking the stuff, not to mention save money, so I’m putting down the can again. I’ll be drinking water only, with the exception made for the odd fruit juice, or sports drink if I go out somewhere to eat or feel like adding a little flavor to my drink. Although honestly it’s not the flavor that’s the biggest thing keeping me from drinking just water, it’s a…texture thing, if you can apply that word to a beverage. The reason I like drinking other things is because they’re not as thin. There’s something about them that registers at the back of your throat as being less watery, whether that’s sugar or other ingredients or carbonation, or what have you: the reason I don’t just drink water all of the time is that eventually my throat starts to feel a little cramped or closed or something. Like it has to close farther than usual to just drink water. And that’s fine, I learned to like sports drinks a long time ago, especially when I gave up soda for the first time for a few years. So I’ll budget myself to a few dollars a week, go buy some Gatorades or Powerades, and expect to have a splitting headache some time in the next few days, but I think I’ll be healthier for it. And that’s the important thing, is to do what’s good for the old body. I don’t think it’ll be another long-term quit again, though it might become one. I’m just looking to detox a little bit and make a healthier choice.