You Made Me to Break Me

Posted: February 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

When you make a concession for something or somebody, you end up paying for it elsewhere. It makes perfect sense on a scientific level, and even on a practical human-to-human level. If you agree to spend your day with somebody, you are missing out on other plans and events that are happening all around you. As elementary as this is, it has been an absolute mountain to climb over and understand. I am still working on it, trying to get out of that “compromise everything, please everybody” mindset that has both served and betrayed me through the better portion of my teenage years and all of my adulthood. I like to think of it as a way of being selfless, but it’s ultimately selfish to believe that I have the ability to please absolutely everybody around me.

It’s not even correct to rotate, or evenly distribute. Or pick favorites. The truth is, there’s no clear answer, you just have to figure out who needs your attention, and if you deem them most worthy at the time, you give it to them. If there’s a group of people who don’t mind having attention split up among them, then you hang out as a group. The important thing to take away from this is how unbelievably complicated it really is to have friends. It comes brainlessly most of the time, but when you have to play chess about it, it becomes unbelievably daunting.

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