To Make Bitter, To Jade, To Strangle Joy From

Posted: February 24, 2012 in Uncategorized

It’s well past 4 in the morning, and I’m sitting here listening to Sage Francis’ “Every Midnight” trying to keep my fists from tightening, from my jaw from clenching. I don’t know if I’m mad at myself or somebody else, but I am trying to keep it all from getting out in a stupid way, and it’s making sweat form on my brow. Sleep is coming now, as I put together close to 9 hours in a couple short bursts followed by a big chunk, but my sleep was haunted by terrible nightmares and bizarre ugliness that I managed to make my way through. Now I’m up and in the midst of passive aggressiveness that perhaps gets trumped on my behalf by the fact that I’m blogging about it. That needs to stop now.

Did my taxes yesterday, which killed most of my afternoon, so I expect I’ll be plenty busy today as I try and make up for that. I guess considering where I am right now in terms of things, I’m doing pretty well for the day. Job postings are going to be up in half an hour, and I’ll definitely spend some time poring over those, looking for the next great thing with an eye on my email. Just an average day made ugly in the process of slumber.


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