Queen’s Knight to E4

Posted: August 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

I spent the last four years of my life in a fog, a haze. I did not wish it to be so, but when I think back on all the events that transpired local to me I see them all as an observer, not as a participant. I can recall things with incredibly vivid details and no lucid ones. As if decisions were being made for me, or that I was residing in a democracy without taking part in one.

And then one day the sickness clouding my ability to be lifted itself from my head and everything became foreign and bizarre. I was wearing clothes I had never owned, in a room whose walls I had never painted, paid for by a job that I did not know how to do. I questioned the presence of the spiritual, the supernatural, and the simple, finding no answers among any of their ranks.

Alcohol became my panacea, providing me with brief moments of the way things had been for four years, an autopiloting system for my body that reminded me of happier days. The effects did not last, and the cost was too high, and too many days did I relive the sobering perspective of relearning my borders, possessions, and station. Yet I remained stalwart.

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