Danny Bastard and the Four-Letter Word

Posted: August 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

Three hours into Thanksgiving dinner, Danny Bastard said something he probably shouldn’t have. Probably not in front of his family, probably not at dinner, and at the very least, not in the presence of his frail grandmother. But you don’t get a nickname like “Danny Bastard” without foregoing some social niceties, and you don’t get your family to use the nickname without really not giving a shit.

Of course, some surmise that the reason his father started using it was because he wished it was true, but nobody has ever been able to get him to confirm the story directly, even if he wryly smirks when you ask him the question.

Anyways, with a mouth full of cranberry sauce of mashed potatoes, Danny Bastard had erupted into one of his long-winded stories of debauchery and slightly criminal behavior when he began to focus his narrative on the more curvaceous features of a female he wished to court, and though he was sitting at the children’s table, he slammed his fist on the wood, causing the potatoes to fly off of his fork, and said that she turned him down, but it was no matter because she was a stupid cunt anyways.

Danny Bastard wouldn’t eat another Thanksgiving dinner with his family for four years.

 

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