A Fresco in Primaries

Posted: March 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

The city zoo shut down today after what officials are calling a “resident’s riot” broke out. Scientists are baffled at what could cause such havoc and chaos, but initial reports link the restlessness starting with the aviary. Nobody at this time is willing to speculate that the birds in some way incited this tragedy, but many stated off the record that their initial studies were focused solely there. Not all of the zoo’s animals engaged in hostile behavior toward the park’s guests or workers, but those that dissented from the riot were often found victims of violence themselves. Of the many wounded or deceased is local favorite “Fiona” the chimpanzee, who reportedly tried to hide with her keepers but was unable to get out of her exhibit without engaging in conflict. At this time, zoo staff is labeling her in critical condition. At this time, we are not yet declaring a state of emergency, believing these phenomena to be isolated to just the zoo and only our city’s zoo, but local authorities are keeping a close eye on the situation. In the meantime, it is recommended to keep your windows closed and doors locked, and stay inside whenever possible.

  1. Carl Radon says:

    I love your titles about as much as your

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