The Frailty Police

Posted: January 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

At this point, up until this time, and from henceforth shall be, banana shall be stricken from the list of acceptable pet names, online banking passwords, and bedroom innuendo. It was determined by a crack team of unemployed focus group participants that these uses of the noble fruit’s name are unbecoming and damaging to the brand cultivated over centuries by trees. Any complaints can be addressed to the bananas’ class-action representation at Rawlings & Javenicus, and reading of this mass public notice to cease and desist should be understood as an implicit agreement to avoid further, non-fruit related uses of banana. This includes but is not limited to a depiction of how insane something is. Failure to comply with these terms will result in a financial penalty payment to the Banana Legal Fund, which intends to continue pursuing other matters of libel and slander as it pertains to any and all fruits who seek representation from the attorneys at Rawlings & Javenicus.

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