I Can’t Feel My Life

Posted: February 15, 2014 in Uncategorized

I woke up today a lucky man. Love in my heart, money in my wallet, delicious food in the kitchen. And still I woke up like a man with nothing to live for, clinging to pillows and sheets, clinging to a dream uninteresting but inconsequential enough to be desirable. Flashes of my email inbox in my mind like someone suffering from war flashbacks. I could sense the communication, could feel it urging me to get up and get going even though I’d crossed this day out on my calendar some time ago as a mandatory holiday. Of course, she’s in the shower, and I know there’s just so very much to get done, so I sneak off to my computer not for an unfaithful tryst, but to diminish my guilt for things undone while I have the chance for some solitude. It’s a ridiculous pastiche of a man with secrets to hide, and my only secret today is that I’d be working all day if I were single. The whole thing feels silly and laughable, but the anxiety of a looming deadline is very real, even when you’re resigned not to work one of the days between now and then.


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