I Dream of a Hooters Chain Restaurant That Heaps Old Video Games On You To Take Home While You Order Happy Hour-Priced Appetizers and Watch A Live Baseball Game

Posted: June 9, 2014 in Uncategorized

Spent the last couple hours doing summery things. Lounging at the pool, going to the bank, eating cold bacon out of the fridge. You know. Summertime activities. It occurs to me that I haven’t had an Otter Pop in years, and I consider it both a blessing and a curse. I miss those fun frozen flavors, but the sides of my lips are thanking me profusely for avoiding the cuts and scrapes that come with chewing on those jagged plastic edges. There has to be a better way, and frankly I am shocked and appalled at the potentially several thousand dollar a year frozen flavored water industry for not making that leap into the 21st century. Imagine if you will a cylindrical slot on the front of your computer that was not in fact for fornication in the digital age but instead could generate a flavored frozen treat in a matter of seconds. It would have the unfortunately effect of looking like your computer was crapping rainbows into a bowl, but that’s a problem for the 22nd century. For now, I demand frozen rainbow desktop turds.

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