Mentioning Bears

Posted: June 28, 2014 in Uncategorized

Zombies are never going to happen. You can prepare all you want for brain-eating, foot-shuffling apocalypse, but it can and will never happen. Know why? Guns. Bombs. Nuclear warfare. The fact that nobody in their right mind is going to let patient zero within 25 feet of them without putting an entire magazine in his or her head. The mere fact that people dedicate time and energy and thought to how they would handle an outbreak of the undead speaks to the sheer amount of free time that people have in this day and age. That’s time you could spend learning a new language, or catching up with old friends, or sleeping. Remember that the next time you think you’re being hip and unique by sharing your zombie survival plans with other people. Because they all have them too. You’re not special. None of you are. And when the zombies come, I hope they eat you all first. Serves you right for thinking you could stop an army of the living dead.

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